..but i'm too fat to be pretty!

I'll be back with more later....

k, finally made it back...not going in to great details as to why but let's leave it at 'SOMETIMES I WISH I WAS A MAN!'

Last week I was complimented by a fellow who comes into work quite often. *Now don't go jumping to conclusions that it's anything untowards or i'm gonna be steppin' out on my Harry!*

This fellow is happily married as well and just an honestly nice guy who has a way of making one think.

Anyways, after he complimented me I quickly scoffed (as is usually a normal response to compliments for me..don't know how to take them, working on it) and said "But i'm to fat to be pretty!"

He asked why I would think that of myself and told him well it's how I feel, actually it's how I allow society to let me feel. That beautiful belongs to women who look like models, etc. but that I do have some very attractive friends.

"Are they all size 2's?"

"No, but they just are. They are kind, caring, compassionate and fun to be around."

"You're not any of these things? You're telling me that you don't care about people? You're cold and unfeeling? You're no fun to be around?"

"Well that's not what I meant and I suppose the next words from you are going to be 'Beauty is only skin deep' right?"

"I know a lot of women like you describe and some of them are the ugliest people I know. Beauty comes from inside too. It's the whole package and Hal is a very lucky man and so am I. We have the real deal.:

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Needless to say he did get me thinking about why we allow ourselves to be told what is beautiful and what isn't. Part of what i've been struggling with alongside of weight loss is self image. Now some may say that they are one and the same but they're not.

I remember in my 20's looking in the mirror and seeing a young woman that I thought was overweight and that I could stand to lose more. I'm 5'8" tall and at that time weighed 134 lbs. wore a loose size 9. It led to me getting very sick. I look at pictures now and think "Oh god, I really thought I was fat back then but the person looking back is not healthy looking at all!"

So where i'm going with this is that i've now set a goal for myself in this weight loss journey to becoming even more beautiful. The goal is to lose an average of 7 lbs a month for the next 9 months (realistic and attainable), get more physically active and continue to improve on cooking and eating healthier.

Too all of my pretty, wonderful and amazing friends....You're all beautiful to me and thank you for being exactly who you are!!

xo Pen