Saturday, April 25, 2009

Here we go again


I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out and thinking 'Why?'

We are having Cleo put down on Monday evening, my poor girl has shrunk away to nothing and is suffering terribly. You see the pain in her eyes and I just wish she could tell me where it hurts. She's now lost almost 30 lbs and is a mere shadow of her former beautiful self. My girl with a heart full of love, eyes that speak volumes and her funny little nubbin is 8.5 years old and leaving us far too soon.

We don't really know what's causing the weightloss as her appetite picked up really well and she was eating three times a day but continued to lose weight. She drinks a lot but has no quality of life. It takes her 20 minutes just to go out and pee. Last night she staggered and started to fall over so I ran and grabbed her before she fell on the bricks, carried her inside and set her down. She was exhausted, panting in pain and out of sorts. We had called the Vet's office earlier in the week but the soonest they could get us in is Monday evening - this has been a good thing but soooo very difficult too. We get to spoil her for a few more days, snuggle with her and love her but what benefits us only causes her more time in pain.

We've been down this road only a short year ago and it's just way too soon. I say that we'll get another dog before we get the pup next spring but we'll see how the heart feels after Monday.

Off to pick my girlie up from the floor, take her to bed and cuddle with her for a little while longer. She's still so amazing though, try to not cry but they start out of the blue and she gives the gentlest kisses and nuzzles in a little closer. Perhaps I'm humanizing her but right now it's what this aching heart needs.

xo Pen

4 comments:

Tanya said...

Oh Penny...I am so sorry! There is nothing like seeing someone...even a pet that you love so dearly hurting and suffering. We went through it with our cat last year...she was only 7...but something happened to her and within two weeks, she was gone, we have no idea what it was...she just stopped eating and that was it. She died the early morning that we had the appt. to put her to sleep.
I hope that you know that you're doing the best thing for Cleo...that's out job...to make the decisions for them so they can have the best life...even the hard decisions. I will be thinking of you...it honestly sucks...I'm crying right now. Big ((HUGS)) to you!

Jenny said...

Love you Pen....let me know if there's anything I can do for you!!

joni said...

i am so sorry Pen...
thinking of you..

hugs

SueakaNana said...

Hi Penny I had been thinking of you and Hal, it can't be easy thats for sure as you just went thru this just a year ago with Quade, I hope you both are feeling a little better now, take care and I will keep in touch via blog land since i don't seem to run into you much hugs from Sue