Have to start off by saying 'I HATE HAVING PCO!!!!' Simply put the changes in my body as I approach 40 are not pleasant and are only exacerbated by the fact I have this horrible disease! For those who don't know PCOS is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It's a syndrome in the fact that not all people have all the symptoms and the degree of these symptoms also vary.
Being a lazy ass and Queen of Denial is not helping at this juncture in my life. Yesterday I got very angry, very, very angry. I'm talking pissed off at the world, why me, I hate my life angry and Hal got a bit of the brunt of it. It came out of nowhere....well obviously it's something that's been building but alas, Queen of Denial kept burying it deeper and deeper.
After being so angry, mad, sad and pissed off at the world I stopped to take inventory of who exactly is to blame. Well in all honesty I've got to once again come to terms that I will always have PCOS and as long as the Queen insists on being a couch potato and denying anything is wrong then these symptoms will only worsen with age and the onset of Menopause....can't believe I just typed that dreaded word but yes MEN O PAUSE is just around the bend and coming up fast.
Back to after being mad, although i'm still pissed a bit today...I went to the pharmacy and picked up my prescription that has been there for over a month and am now in the process of working through a program that will work for me. HOLD THE PRESS!!!! As I say "Work through a program" I found that anger flare again......need to find a new way to address this whole situation. I hate the terms 'diet, weightloss program, program and you're still beautiful inside (why am I that damned ugly on the outside and that's the best you can come up with....get lost!!) Okay embarrassed that I think that but guess it's something that's obviously been held inside too. This post has been edited now that i've calmed down and gotten slightly embarrassed at that sailor mouth outburst!
Off for now to get back to LIFE!
Pen
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
Mid Life Crisis or simply insane?
Posted by BluEyedFool at 8:41 AM
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5 comments:
Write in your Journal and see what comes out. You know that works for you girl!
Jaime
Thinking of you Pen!!!!
Remember that you're a knockout on the outside as well as a beauty within!
It's a hard battle dealing with weight loss...I can't imagine what it would be like if I had PCOS! If you ever need someone to talk with I am here!!!
Thanks guys, just working through some personal stuff but appreciate the support. Thought i'd come to terms with this but still have a way to go.
Hugs,
Pen
PCOS is a bugger! Thinking of you...I can sympathize...but we all suffer with different degrees of it...those of us who have it. I hope you can get it all figured out. Take care.
Penny - your post is the beginning of great changes in your life. Getting angry and wanting more for yourself is good - use it to create long lasting positive change.
Holler if you need anything at all.
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